unfettered awareness? posh and golly

pretty tense day around here. one thing after another. distractions, (a ticket on my car, a sick friend i feel i need to help and start working on that). i take the distractions and don't do my work for today.
Now I only have a few hours left before i'm going out and feel bad my 'to do' list is untouched. think about it for a minute. think: it's fear in 'moving forward'. and i'm REALLY out of sorts.

So. because i "can't ask you to do what i won't do mysel"' -- I decided to 'work the practice' for 10.

set the timer.

takes me about 7 or 8 to relax enough to start. (Started w/shoulders - ouch crackle made sound. worked actively by moving the places which revealed themselves to be hanging on. Then went to my spine. ouch. made sounds.

started to work on a cup of coffee. lightly. then realized my face was really held. went back to just looking to free those muscles and so did exercising of my face and tongue. really stretched and rubbed my face. then felt really it was SO released.

almost drolled into my coffee when i started to work on it again.

Had the thought "i wouldn't be able to do this in class - let anyone see me with my mouth hanging half open like this"

- went back to the work. it happened then that I played w/ the cup as it, the object, suggested things to me - to my hands and shoulders really.

phone rang. i let it go.
felt itchy all over and did a vigorous all-over scratching!
distractions came up; remembered i didn't take my vitamins. wanted a REAL cup of coffee and started 1/2 way to think about fixing that
timer went off.
felt like going another minute or so
returned to the 'work'. felt a FEELING of enjoyment/pleasure, at being surrounded by the smell of this nice coffee.
noticed i had more tension in my fingers. shook them out and cracked my knuckles.
let go of the exercise.
experienced that there is even more tension in the front of my shoulders, in my wrists. worked them a bit as i came over to write this down.